gays adult

I do, but the last 3 times I have dated girls, before she asked me out that would always be the first question I got. Seriously, I’m trying NOT to fall into stereoptypical gender roles. I like buying her stuff and paying for dates and doing random romantic things and doing certain things that would be considered from the "guy’s role", but I am obviously female and therefore fall into the female role as well.

Can’t they just avoid asking that? It has nothing to do with anything, and if they undertsood me, they would understand that it doesn’t matter.


i’m versatile. with my first boyfriend i always bottomed because that’s what he insisted, after we broke up and i started sleeping around i stayed a ‘bottom’ because i was afraid to top for the first time with someone who’d probably just laugh at my inexperience. then i met a man with whom i am still great friends, it was always fairly casual but we were together for a couple of months and he was versatile, but prefered to bottom. he was great and with him i discovered that i loved being a top too.

my current boyfriend is also versatile, but i was his first and he’s new to sex so if he decides he has a preference that’ll be fine by me. i love the sensations of being a top and a bottom. being a bottom feels amazing with the right person, but being a top really gives me the feeling that i’m making love to my boyfriend, who yes i am totally loyal to. i’ve been promiscuous before and learnt that it’s not for me.

I really don’t buy into the whole idea of someone being just a top or bottom. I know there are a few guys who really are just a top but that’s rare. I have met too many guys that said they were top’s but once you get them in the bedroom they become amours dick loving bottoms.
Besides I always make it clear that in the bedroom I like switching positions and I’ve never had anyone turn me down.
The best thing about switching is no one feels cheated at the end of the night

The only thing that is "selfish and close-minded" is when the guy on top shoots his load and doesn’t make sure the other guy gets off, that’s just plain arrogant, rude and self-serving.

The only time I won’t let another guy pop my butt is if he has a huge dick, my butt is very tight and I plan to keep it that way.
.Panzer,

There are many dynamics in sexual relationships. Top or Bottom, Give or Receive, do or done are different names for one kind of dynamic. (we also have to concider love, spirit as well as immediate physical concerns) I won’t try to explain why folks have different ways of approaching these dynamics. Some ‘liberated’ women believe that if they are on the bottom they are submitting to oppression, but if they are on top, their partner is not. I don’t get it -but I don’t have to.

You believe that top/bottom is "close-minded and selfish." I could never say that. I do think alot of gay folks develop more equal relationships, though. That is a lesson we can share with the mundane world. However, the dynamics and general "pleasure" of the sexual act is far more complicated than a manifesto of equality.

I can go either way, but don’t tell my boyfriend. I am always reluctant to relinquish being on the bottom. For a very simple reason -because after I do, my lovers never want to be on top again.
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I too disagree with panzer and sassss.

how is it selfish to be one or the other if that is your nature ?

I am a total bottom, I have always been one, even before I first had sex I knew I wanted to be the receiver, the one dominated, the bottom. it is what I like and I don’t feel selfish. I am giving myself to my lover, mind - body - spirit, he is a total top. he also likes to dominate and I like to be dominated, in short we have a symbiotic relationship. he did bottom once and didn’t like it, not because he wasn’t in control it was that he didn’t like the physical feeling of being the receiver.
bi4ever asks:

"why do your lovers not want to be on top again?"
. "Because you’re tight" (I doubt it, LOL).
Listen, being tight (Kegels), makes them want to be on top, silly.

. "You scream too much? (like that flaming fag on The Bird Cage)"
I don’t scream like that, but I probably do scream too much when I’m being…
. "You fart with each thrust?"

I thought real men liked that!

Okay, to answer your question, just bend over and I’ll show you why my boyfriends never want to be on top again.

I’ve never had anal sex yet either, but I definitely identify as versatile.

I can believe that being a total top or bottom can be selfish, but only if a person decides to always be dominant or submissive and never give the other person a chance. I don’t really find it wrong to prefer one or the other.

I once read a statistic that said that 50% of gay men do not enjoy anal sex. So I can’t say for myself that all gay men should be versatile. All I know is that I would prefer to be with a guy who is.
.

I posted this before, (sorry I don’t have the link to that post) anyway, some of you have read this, to those who haven’t it relates to this topic:

Here’s a link to a recent study of chat room dudes, . It’s all about Tops and Bottoms and the "Correlations between Sex-Role Preference and Physical Preferences for Partners among Gay Men" The study details what is the preferred "body type" for a gay male Top or Bottom. Equally interesting is the even distribution of preference, top or bottom. I always thought there were more bottoms out there. (I guess i’m just more aware of the competition. )

.
I wasn’t sure if i should post this thread in this genre, but i am confused so here it is.

I’ve never been in a relationship with another man ’cause i am still in the closet, but i do fantasize being with other men. I prefer seeing myself as the "submissive" one as I guess im more in touch with my emotions etc and i prefer seeing myself to be spooned rather than giving a spoon.

Anyway, I’ve never really known about the whole "on top" or "on the bottom" thing, I haven’t fully decided what i prefer and im about 50/50 on the decision. Same goes for "anal sex", I’m unsure of who does what first.
I think you raised a good question. From the discussion, it seems a lot of us have felt pigeonholed by the misunderstanging of gender roles in gay relationships.

I can totally see where that question would come up, especially from someone who has never experienced same-sex activity. Thanks for posing the question.

I tend to agree with Matt. Have you considered that one can be male and submissive or male and dominate. I can’t just change my gender (ask any transgendered person who has tried..)

I primarily like being an aggressive bottom. However, depending on the person, I’ve really enjoyed topping. I think a lot of it depends on mood an chemistry.

What do others think?

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